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  • Dami Ogunsanya

WHAT IS LOVE?


Love is a four-letter word that has a different meaning depending on who you ask. According to Google, love is an intense feel of deep affection. I am practicing Christian, so I like to trace everything to the word of God. One of the popular verses in the bible is John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life". Not to be biased, but I prefer the bible definition of love. Love is more than a feeling, it is a sacrifice. When you love someone you make sacrifices, you give them something or you give up something for them. For example, when a man/woman gets married they forsake all other women/men for their spouse.

Have you ever wondered if someone likes you? I once asked myself that question nine years ago when I met my husband, then boyfriend. My husband was not big on words, he was more of an action type of person. I was able to see that on the day of my GMAT exam, I had gone to the exam center without the proper ID and the attendant would not allow me to take the exam. From nowhere I saw my husband jump up from his seat and demanded the attendant to show him the rule book that stated I needed that ID. Even though I had to come back another day to take the exam, my husband’s action proved to me on that he cared about me.

Another personal example of love was when I gave birth to our son. I used to like peanuts a lot, growing up in Nigeria it was one of the snacks we had after school. When my son was ten months old we discovered he has an allergy to nuts, I didn’t have to think twice before I got rid of all the nuts in our house for good. A common theme in my examples has been sacrifice and action. Love is an action word, you can’t say you love someone just by word of mouth you have to show it.

The 14th of this month is valentine’s day, a national day where people celebrate love. The sad thing about this day is that it has been commercialized, A lot of stores now put up products for valentine the day after Christmas. Restaurants “create” these special menus, so they can charge their patrons double the price in the name of love. No matter how you choose to celebrate love on this day here are some intentional ways you can show love to the people in your life based on their love language.

Gifts: For the people that like receiving gifts, you can get them an annual subscription to something they like. You can pay for their Spotify subscription for a year or even three months if that is what you can afford. My husband requested for an audiobook membership and that is what he will be getting. If you need a tangible gift, you can get a perfume because people may forget what you look like, but they will never forget how you make them feel or how you smell.


Acts of service: You can do something they have been putting at the bottom of their to-do list. If your spouse has been meaning to declutter his/her closet but they haven’t gotten to it. You can offer to help them declutter and I guarantee you that it would make them so happy.


Quality time: People with this type of love language are easy to please because it doesn’t matter what you do if you are doing it together they will be happy. All they want is uninterrupted time. For married couples with kids, this one might be a little challenging if you don’t have someone to watch the kids on date nights, so I would suggest a date day. A date day is just like a date night but during the day, the good thing about this is that food and activities are cheaper during the day compared to night.


Words of affirmation:Tell your spouse you love them with every opportunity you get. Write short notes and put in your spouse/child’s lunch box so they know you are thinking about them. I know we are all digital now but write them a love letter and place it on their pillow. Tell them how proud you are of them. The possibilities are endless if you just verbally acknowledge them.


Physical Touch: Give hugs, high fives and to the married couples give massages, remember thanksgiving babies are made on valentines day 😉


Show love to the people in your life in ways they receive love. It is pointless giving your spouse a brand-new car if all she wants is quality time with you, don’t get me wrong she would take the car and say thank you but if you are never around the car cannot fill the void. I cannot recommend this book enough, if you haven’t read it please put it on your to-read list.

What are you giving your spouse this valentine? Do you do gift exchange? Let me know in the comments.


Until next time, remember you can do ALL things through Christ who gives you strength.



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