So what really happens after you say “I do”? By the grace of today (10/14/13) is our 4th year wedding anniversary. I am NOT an expert in marriage, these are based on my personal experience. I found out that a lot of people often get things mixed up thinking that after the wedding you don’t need to do what you used to do for your spouse……wrong! In fact you are to do more. Marriage is a full time job, long hours and no summer off but it is worth (O.J Kuye). Always remember Marriage is like playing the lottery, you have to be in it to WIN it! That being said here are 5ive things (plus a bonus) I have learned being married.
1. Don’t assume anything: This one is a biggie, if something is not clear to you, ask your spouse to clarify. Most times what you assume is not always the case, and you know what they say about assumption (google it).
2. Every marriage is unique: There are no two marriages that are alike, none. What works for couple A might not work for couple B. Comparison steals your joy, don’t fall into that trap.
3. Love is a choice NOT a feeling: You will not feel the butterflies in your stomach every single day (let’s keep it real) especially when you are upset with your spouse, but choosing to love unconditionally is a choice you have to make over and over again.
4. Create time to spend together: I know, I know we are all very busy, but this is very important especially if you have kids. You have to create time to connect with your spouse, this will help foster the bond between the two of you. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, it could be a dinner and a movie or if you are trying to save money you can watch a movie at home after the kids go to bed and you know how that will end ( wink).
5. Be open minded: Never forget that you and your spouse were raised in two different families where things were done differently. So when your spouse suggest you try doing something differently have an open mind about it, there are more than one ways to cook jollof rice (get it?)
6. Put God at the center: This is a no brainer, let God be the third person in your marriage, no not your mom, sister, or friend. When you face difficult times take it to the lord in prayer and not social media. As you both draw closer to God you get closer to one another. A threefold cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12
The magic is not in getting married, it’s in staying married - Derek Luke
Sending love & strength your way,
Dami