Mothering the Mother
Happy Mother’s Day to all present and future moms. I hope you are getting pampered today. In honor of today’s celebration, I would like to share ways to care for a new mom
There is a popular saying that that people mention “it takes a village to raise a child.” As much as I agree with that statement, I would like to add a variation to that. “It takes a village to support a mother.” A mother is as strong as her village or as I like to call it her tribe.
There is a drastic change from when a mother is pregnant compared to after she has delivered the baby. When a woman is pregnant, she has multiple appointments with the OBGYN, friends and family are always checking on her. Immediately the baby is born it's like the mother just fades into the background. The appointment stops, and she only sees the doctor once at the six week post partum appointment. It is okay for the attention to shift from the mother to the baby ,but let us not forget that when a baby is born a mother is born too.
Practical ways to support a new mom
Check in: It can be as simple as a phone call to ask her how she is doing. Most times when people call it is to ask how the baby is doing (which is okay) and forget to ask how the mom is doing. Please be prepared to listen to what she has to say and do not be offended if she does not want to share as much. All this is new to her.
Visit: Please do not show up unannounced in the name of wanting to see the baby. Let the mother extend an invitation to you, and when you visit, do not overstay your welcome. Some people cannot take a hint…. lol. The total amount of time should be 15 minutes tops. Remember to wash your hands and do not kiss the baby 😊
Food: Food is always a good gift to bring for a new mom. Ask her for her favorite meal and have it delivered to her. Make sure it is enough for her entire family.
Just do: If you happen to visit, instead of just carrying the baby check around and see if there is anything that needs to be done. If you notice she has dirty dishes in the sink, you can help with that. You can help her straighten up or fold the laundry. Just do something.
Make her feel like herself again: I remember after giving birth and the epidural (God bless the person that invented it) effect was gone it felt like I was ran over by a truck, no joke. Here are things you can do to help her feel like herself again.
1) Take her to get her nails done
2) Gift her a post-natal
3) Take her to brunch, there is just something about brunch that makes moms happy. I think it is the idea of eating without being the one preparing it…. lol
Advice: Under no circumstance should you give advice excepts she explicitly asks you for it. You do not have to share your option about how your baby did this at that age. I know it might be coming from a good place, but a new mom might not be ready for all of that. On the other side, if you are a new mom do not be afraid to ask for help if you need it. There is no medal for being a superwoman, there are people waiting for you to ask them to help.
Grace: Grant her grace, she is adjusting to her new life. If she does not return your calls as fast or does not respond to your text, she is not ignoring you, please be patient with her.
I hope this helps put things in perspective. As you celebrate today, let us remember those that are having a challenging time due to their moms not being here or have estranged relationship with their mom. Also, those that are waiting to be moms. I pray the Lord grants the desires of your heart in Jesus name. (Amen)
Until next time, remember, you can do all thins through Christ who strengthens you.